I want to talk about our own self image and the belief that our behaviour makes us who we are.
I think most of the times, we probably formed these believes over our childhood that if we’ve done something bad, we are bad. If we make a mistake, we’re horrible or stupid. If we do this and that, we are this and that.
I want to say that this is quite the wrong way to think. The article I read mentioned that we instinctively know that a little baby, born without the knowledge to do or say anything, is worthy of all the love and affection in the world. But as we get older, we tend to believe that we’re not worthy just because we did something.
That line really hit me because it made so much sense.
Yes, we may do things we’re not proud of, but don’t we all? I don’t think there’s a single person in the world that can be perfect in every way. We need to realise that making a mistake or doing something we’re not proud of does not make us bad in any way, particularly if we’re aware of what we did.
Sometimes, it’s important to see yourself from another person’s point of view.
You need to imagine yourself as a third person. You have to think of yourself as anyone else in the world, because you are likely to be too hard on yourself – particularly if you’re feeling unworthy because you believe you are not good enough. You have to think – if you are trying to teach a child what is wrong or right, and he makes a mistake, do you automatically say, “nope – he’s a screwed up person and is bad”, or do you think, “it’s alright, you’ve just made a mistake, we all do and we can try again”.
Sometimes, it can be the hardest thing in the world to forgive ourselves over a mistake we made, but we also have to realise that our emotions are usually what causes us to make these mistakes, and these emotions are there to protect us, it has your best interest at heart, and that is to keep you safe.
If you said something you didn’t meant to when you are angry, that’s because your body has made it that way so you don’t get clocked by others and feel too afraid or bad to fight back. You were given these feelings to protect you! Even though they may not work the way you want to, at least acknowledge why you felt this way. That way, you are likely not to be that hard on yourself.
Remember this: We are not our behaviour, and it does not define us. No matter how badly we screw up, we can learn to do better next time.
Repeat this affirmation with me –
“My behaviour isn’t who I am. I am learning from my mistakes and I am a good person.”